June 30, 2020

6:04pm, JHU campus near a green house, Baltimore, MD

I went for a walk on the Homewood campus again. It was the powerful scent of the magnolia blossoms (through my mask!) that drew me to the green. I fell enchanted by the magnolias. A roll around in sharp grass feels invigorating. The humidity and the heat lull me into submission. I have to work hard to be motivated. I listened to a little bit of music as a warm up. What if the project morphed into an ongoing daily dance project but without regular/daily recording and no more required outdoor dancing? It is the last day of June for the year. New routines keep playing in my mind. I am deeply sick with the delusion of perfection. I want to remain tethered to something. Perfection is toxic. Not the anchor for this ship... I feel like I'm losing focus and words are just tumbling out of my face through my hand. Day one hundred eighty-two.