June 16, 2020

8:03pm, Bike rack somewhere on JHU Homewood Campus, Baltimore, MD

My body feels tired and like it is fighting something. Yesterday, after my daily dance, I danced some more on a lawn on the Hopkins campus. There is a lot of space here to be mined with my body and somatic thinking. Today's dance was fairly physical. I am letting go of my engagement with Move Move as a dancer and trying to create space for my role as "stage manager". I struggle between my desire to be seen and be validated and my ever increasing capacities as a behind the scenes, support person. I used some music to warm up. Of course I liked that movement better than what it felt like I was doing. I did try to incorporate Carole's concept of The Trouble... I know there is darkness and fear inside of me. I can feel myself wrestle with it. Being incredibly physical in today's dance was momentarily cathartic. This bike rack area was a fun playground. It feels like it's been a while since I engaged specifically with environmental structures. I know I said a few days ago I want to use my bike to scout sites but after yesterday and today, I want to mine this campus for nooks and crannies. Exploiting this campus for these daily dances for a few more days perhaps. Day one hundred sixty-eight.