June 7, 2020

8:45pm, alley off of Oglethorpe Street NW and 7th Street NW, Washington D.C.

Today was my first solo day with the kiddo. Mom and Dad are at the hospital waiting for labor to progress. I decided to wait until after bedtime to make my daily dance. The site is one of MAJOR convenience. I am within earshot of the kiddo. My right shoulder is twinging in ways it hasn't for almost a year now. My scapula needs some stretching and lacrosse ball action. Having lived with this injured shoulder for 7 years now (3 distinct injuries over the course of that time) and having gone through PT and personal training, I know what the issue is and how to deal. I am intentional in my site and use of limited space. Near the endish, I notice the tiniest praying mantis. Much is going through my head and heart. How to be a better ancestor... How to be a better child care provider... How to be a better friend and family member... How not to be silent about white supremacy and my connections with it... How to accept the moment I am in, recognize my any shortcomings as a human and continue to strive for better, more just, anti-racist actions, words, and thoughts... How to show up for my community in a sustainable and authentic way... When is the time to listen and when is the time to speak... Writing all of this down is both reflective and performative (because it will be published online). I know one thing to be certain; all of us only get one day at a time to exist in this world. Day one hundred fifty-nine.