June 25, 2020

10:04pm, Maryland Avenue and W 29th Street, Baltimore, MD

It is white privilege that allows me to dance in the streets without fear of being policed or murdered. Today was not a daytime dancing kind of day. Part of me fears the heat and humidity. I was also choosing to engage in work during the day. Waking up before 8am has not been possible for me. Something inside of me needs more sleep. I feel a sense of imbalance right now. Today's site is not even a block away from home. I often walk this way and think about the bright lights as a perfect element to incorporate in a night dance. This block is brightly lit then an alley intersects and the remainder of the block is dark. As I was dancing, I watched an acquaintance walk into his home. I had hoped he would see me. I often want to be seen. There are layers to this desire. I danced in a threshold, not here or there. This block is relatively quiet. I have to remind myself that it is my neighborhood. Today I have described myself as being a grab bag of emotions. I could reach my hand inside myself and pull out any one of the various feels a human can experience. I hear the sound of an AC unit, the now, usual firework eruptions, and the general buzz of the city. The air is cool after this evening rain. Day one hundred seventy-seven.